depression · mental illness · Uncategorized

Her Demon

She felt the monster grow inside her every day, but she continued to ignore it. Thoughts crowded her brain, haunted thoughts, dangerous thoughts. She never knew what to make of these thoughts. They fed her monster, made him stronger, as he got stronger he drained her. Each day she grew weaker and weaker. Eventually, she was too tired to function, getting out of bed was a mission she couldn’t handle. The thought of food made her feel ill. Haunted thoughts were all she needed to feed her dark soul. She thought, why am I here? My life is useless. I should just sink away into the darkness and let this darkness in my soul take over.

Finally, she submitted to her monster. He now controlled her relieving her from a sense of responsibility. Suddenly the dark world was attractive and all she wanted was darkness and solitude. She cut the cords of relatiınships she deemed useless. She vaguely communicated with those she deemed important, instead, she sought out her enemies and drew them close to her. Craving power she drew out their weaknesses. She knew what made them tick, dug on their insecurities, and drew out a long and painful vengeance on anyone that had hurt her soul.

Mavis was concerned with one specific enemy. Dianne was her name. The girl with long dark hair and a smile that looked chilling, maybe so chilling because it resembled the several knives Diane had stuck in Mavis’s back. Mavis allowed her demons to navigate through the revenge. Diane wanted someone to feed her ego, tell her how wonderful she was, all Mavis had to do was build Diane up and then she would gain her trust. So Mavis did exactly that, she gained Diane’s trust, she drew her close and learned her deepest secret.

Diane was pregnant, but it wasn’t her boyfriend’s child. It was her ex-boyfriend, a relationship that was complicated beyond repair. Diane was finally with a man of her dreams, a man that treated as well as she felt she needed to be treated. The plan was simple. With one recorded confession Mavis could publicly expose Diane for the fraud she was. Her perfect man will never trust her again, Diane could never truly be happy with the ex but he would know he is the dad. Diane would have no choice but to involve him, pushed to do the right thing. Finally, no one would trust Diane after this, people will finally see her for what she was. Mavis felt her chest burn with a desire for vengeance.

For the first time in days, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Past her matt, flat, wiry hair, her hollow eyes, her shrinking face and protruding cheek bones, pass all of this Mavis finally saw what she refused to see all this time. Instead of herself, she saw a monster, an unrecognizable version of who she had become. She broke down in front of the mirror and the burning desire in her chest transformed into an unrecognizable pain, finally, she lay on the floor and wept sorrowfully for what was. By trying to break Dianne she turned into something worse than Dianne. And now she didn’t know how to go back or if she even wanted to…

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